How To Make People Listen to You: Ten Steps

Do people listen to you? Ten bullets to check before you answer.

1. Do we know what the listener does with the message?

 No one ever complains about a speech being too short! Listeners make associations that will complete the message. Don't sub estimate their intelligence

2. Will the listener feel comfortable and secure?

Yes, give them exactly the same advise you would like to hear

3. The listener will defend and re-enforce any attitude we attack? 

‘There is no right not to be offended!’: It’s a popular  slogan. Some time  we have excuses:“But I didn't mean it!” Yes, but it’s so hard to prioritize impacts over intents. Always feel the empathy of the listener before speaking (and not after that)

4. Is our  message relevant to listener's circumstances?

Take visual clues in face to face meetings. Look at the pageviews for each article if you are a blogger. Then use your extra-sensorial feelings. You will be surprised of the new skills you develop in tuning your feelings to listener feelings

5, Do you know the best listeners are in insecure relationships? 

Vulnerable listeners are craving to be heard and understood. Great communicators restore people faith in themselves and do not take advantage of the their vulnerabilities

6. People will listen to us only if we listen to them?

This a test for the communicator who wants to send messages to people  he likes listening to. He can not communicate with people who make her impatient.

7. People will more likely accept change if they are consulted before?

Yes. Change must involve the people - change must not be imposed upon the people. This is what every text of "change management" says. But in communication, ask questions and have multiple answers based on the audience responses. All answers must make sense to you and to the people listening to you.

8. People reaction depends upon who delivers the message, when and where 

Look in the mirror and ask; "Am I the right person to bring this message to these people?" Then, "is it the right place and the right time?".  It is incredible how many professional communicators never ask these questions. But you do, right?

10. Sort out your own internal conflicts and doubts, before making others listen.

This is harder than it looks. Most people fake that they are completely solid emotionally, but something like this does not exist. We are humans. Even US presidents have tears in their eyes on occasions. But don't fake either rock solid convictions or show artificial doubts just to make a point


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