Saturday, September 06, 2008
The above is a much celebrated quote from Marcel Proust.
We went to a Greek festival in Sacramento Convention Center.
It was organized by a the Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church of Sacramento, for some years an event. What it gets me is the success in public attendance. Some tall healthy Americans with kids, some young girls looking for boys and who knows what other miracle. Some older people, family type, east Europeans fat and no athletic contrasting the new breed of sporty well build Americans with Greek wives and sisters in law ...
The food disappointed me and watching the crowd was a better entertainment. I saw two girls, maximum twenty year old. One was looking typical Mediterranean, the other was white with long hair, thick legs, a long imperfect nose and pure , serious face, but attractive, in a long skirt. She is not beautiful by general standard but had a subdued sexiness,- in spite or maybe because of the apparent imperfections. She is type of woman that men without imagination ignore, because they don’t know to read inside. She is a woman that could make men wildly happy and destroy them when she might leave them for a man often superior to their husbands. I had an impulse to go to her and ask her, if she would like to meet some interesting man from Boston,a good friend of mine. In spite of it's absurdity, the thought persisted in my mind, even after we finished eating a colorless chicken with not completely cooked rice. We went around to see a Greek bookstore with religious orthodox books, some very interesting (Marriage of Orthodox with non-Orthodox people). Across they had a little exhibition of national costumes - absolutely beautiful. Jennifer Aniston is descendant from a Greek father. Same is Brad Pitt
I saw again the two girls and wanted to stop them and again I didn't.
We went outside and saw even more people . Lexuses and Acuras and Mercedes driven by black ladies with children. I thought in terms and engine power it would be difficult to match the Chevy Tahoe's ride today.. It is the American way , to take a V8, not a 4 cylinders, and make a hybrid, because life is short and we need to live it. Prius is antidote of the American spirit. We came to America to afford things others don’t, and this is our illusions still. We may say we need to save gas and buy those Priuses, but we lie, trying to be politically correct against our hearts
Yesterday I went to Walmart. I needed to go the bathroom. Once inside, I hear a man panting and puffing trying to defecate with difficulty in first cubicle. Next to the door, a boy 7 year old was saying "Daddy Daddy, did you finish?" I could see Daddy's legs: effeminate and fat, with sandals. A hard effort and defecating is sometime close to dying. The men room was not clean. I wash my hand and smell shit all over, and dirty paper bulging over full baskets. "Daddy, Daddy did you finish?".
I go out and inside store is clean and beautiful. There is life and background music, and I just came out from a different world where there are latrines, hospitals, people in pain, or dying, morgues, armies and war, torture rooms The people who work there are trained not to talk about it.
Earlier this afternoon, I went to see a gun and pistol. A good shotgun is $300. A Pistol is 600. I drove to the Lincoln Rifle Range, a club with nice people. Old and young civilized people shooting. All drove SUVs and trucks and I saw a Honda minivan, as taking kids to school. I am told the only way to shoot is to buy a gun and ammunition. I can even take some classes of self defense. Not martial arts. Gun self-defense, where a mistake can cost your life.
So what all these stories have in common? That we have a parallel ugly world, ready to suck us in, any moment. We may go from this world to another world any moment any time. Do we appreciate, what it means if Gd abandons us, we are not here, in the alive room anymore? No new cars, no Hamlin grandfather clocks. No job and besides death , there is humiliation, sickness, desperation. Whether those beautiful things we call life will continue, is in faith and in Divine powers, in fear for Him and love form him.
No I don't talk like a monk or Rabbi. As I turn an age I would have never thought to happen to me, at a time I thought I was infinite There will be an end How to make most of my life?
I am now sorry, I did not stop that girl still persisting in my mind. Maximum, she would have looked at me like a fool. But I know, deep inside my soul, she is seeking someone just as hard as the lonely friend in Boston does. They simply don't know each other. I don't know whether is this girl will reappear in my or his life again. Her only mission was to communicate with my inner voice to tell me the potential of good things is always here, the potential for disheartening is also here.
I tell my friend : If you see a nice girl, stop her. She might just want to be stopped. It will be the answer to your prayers
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